Is your marriage in crisis? Has your spouse said that the two of
you have no future? Don’t give up yet. Every marriage goes through
rough spots. Some relationships are even strengthened by these times.
Here’s how to keep hope alive even when your marriage is in trouble.
First of all, you should know that if even one partner has hope for
the relationship, the marriage in crisis can be saved. Many frustrated
spouses have been known to reconsider their impulse to leave. Remember
that he or she also has much invested in the relationship and will have
second thoughts about leaving.
Next, realize that when a marriage is in crisis, people say extreme things.
Don’t take these comments personally. In some cases, your spouse will
feel guilty about asking for a divorce. When this happens, he or she may
cover up their feelings of guilt by acting out in an angry manner. If you
take that anger personally, you are further harming a marriage in crisis.
How you react to the situation will have a profound impact on how the marriage
in crisis is resolved. Don’t badger a spouse who asks for more emotional
space.Use this space to sort out your own emotions. In other words, back
off, regroup,and prepare for the tough work ahead. What ever you do, don’t
give in to anxiety and demand immediate answers to difficult questions.
Also, lower your expectations of your spouse during this time. Sometimes
when a relationship is broken, a person becomes more critical of his or
her spouse. If the housework isn’t perfect or someone gets home late from
work, it’s not the end of the world. There are bigger issues to address right now.
You should allow yourself your own emotions as well. Don’t rush into decisions.
Find some things which help to ground you. For instance, make sure that you work
out regularly to keep your body balanced. Read, undertake individual therapy, or
attend church to keep your mind and spirit in shape.
It is also a good time to expand your interests and activities. Many people who have
a marriage in crisis focus in on their relationship like a laser beam. As you start
enjoying your own life more, your spouse will become more interested in you.
Choose to remain positive. You can’t control what your spouse does, but you can
control your reactions to him or her. When a marriage is in trouble, many people
become insecure and depressed. These reactions only do a marriage in crisis more
damage.Trust your ability to find a creative solution to your relationship difficulties.
Finally, you need to know that whatever the outcome, you did your best to resolve the issues
at hand. Instead of playing the odds about whether the relationship will survive, do what
you can to be helpful and loving to your spouse. That is how you rescue a marriage in crisis.